When was the last time you stepped outside of the box and gave way to your passion?
If it’s been a while, what has prevented you from taking that leap of faith?
Were you fearful of what people will say or think?
If this you, I’m happy to tell you that you’re not the first (nor will you be the last) person to feel this way. We all like to pretend that we don’t care what people think about us, but the truth is we want to be liked and approved.
The irony in that is no one is liked by everyone. We all must live with the fact that no matter how beautiful or smart or talented or known we are there is someone out there that simply will never like you.
For some people this idea is crippling, preventing them from trying new things, speaking up on issues they’re passionate about or even leaving toxic situations.
I am NOT some people.
According to my mother, I have always been the outspoken, strong willed and fearless one out of our bunch. Despite my instinctive nature to jump headfirst into life, I too have succumbed to those inevitable moments of insecurity. For years I have struggled to fall in love with my singing voice and even questioned if I was good enough to make a professional record. Well saints, 1 album, 2 singles, 3 awards and 10 nominations later it is safe to say that I overcame that insecurity. Unfortunately, everyone does not have the fortitude to push past adversities and continue to seek for what they desire most so I thought I’d share 3 things that I do that help me build and maintain my confidence.
I Invest in learning my history
For me black history is not just a month it’s a lifetime. We come from a people discontinued from being a nation (Psalms 83:4-8). For reasons beyond what I have time to explain in this post someone found it very dangerous for black people to know who they are beyond slavery. Because of that fact I make a concentrated effort at knowing who I am [ READ MY EPISTLE TO JUDAH, THE MOST UNCONVENTIONAL BOOK EVERY BLACK PERSON SHOULD READ]. No one can tell you who you are or who you are not when you know who you are for yourself. I have gained so much pride and gratitude knowing who I am and as a result I have embraced my natural hair, my body and my entire being as a black/Israelite woman. Learning who I am and intentionally investing time, money and resources into continual learning has been the biggest contributor to building my confidence.
I choose to not be a victim
Listen, bad things happen to good people and there is nothing we can do about it. What we can do is control how we respond to bad situations. My favorite quote is
“When life gives you lemons make orange juice and make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it.”
For me this means that I do not have to accept everything life throws at me. I do not have to remain a victim of my circumstances while there is yet breath in my lungs. We all love those stories of people overcoming the odds and achieving greatness. Why not be the next story.
I maintain my childhood imagination and sense of creativity
I have always been a creative person. I remember growing up singing, dancing, writing songs, drawing, painting, making up stories and impersonating my favorite musicians (I can do a mean Tina Turner). My options of being were endless and my parents made it a point to encourage me to use my creativity to my highest potential.
Somewhere along the way to adulthood imagination and creativity are choked out and suppressed by life’s responsibilities. I have refused to allow the creative side of me to die and I make a point to feed it as often as I can. You are reading this blog because in the middle of wedding planning, transitioning jobs, moving, and working in ministry I needed an outlet.
Soon with God’s help and guidance this creative outlet will no longer just be a supplement to my life but one of the mediums by which I support myself and my family.
We all struggle with believing in ourselves and accepting the uniqueness of our personalities from time to time. But thanks be unto God, confidence is a skill that can be learned and implemented.
