My first month as Mrs. Jenise La Vonne Wright

An entire month has passed, and I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I got married. I know you’re probably thinking, “Girl, after all of that planning how is it possible that you’re still in a state of shock that you did it.” Well I can honestly say that after all the planning, stress, money spending, packing, moving and rearranging my life I am STILL in awe that my life has unfolded this way.

Every now and then I catch myself staring at my husband, remembering the days when I saw him working in ministry in church and I just smile. I most certainly knew he was the type of man I needed in my life, but never in a million years did I think he’d turn out to be MY husband. I’ve said it probably a dozen times already, but I will continue to say, THANK YOU JESUS for blessing me with the most amazing husband EVER!

Now that the wedding planning is over and we’ve dived headfirst into marriage, I wanted to drop in and share some of my thoughts, observations and lessons I’ve learned one-month in. As a disclaimer, I am in no way sharing this as an expert voice on marriage and relationships but more so as a way to log our journey and in the process hopefully shed some light on what marriage is like as we (Daryl and I) strive to honor God every step of the way.

So, here are a few notes on our first month:

We Are ONE. I remember VERY distinctly one time I went to visit my friend and her new baby. She was also a newlywed at the time, so it was also the first time I was meeting her husband. No shade to this friend but growing up she was the free bird. She moved about to a fro on a whim, throwing caution to the wind and she discovered the world with the naiveté of a child. Needless to say, she was the last of my friends that I’d expect to get married and here she was, married and a mother. I remember watching her interact with her husband, a little jealous if I’m honest, completely confused and dumbfounded watching her in this light. The Holy Spirit impressed upon me, I’m sure as He was well aware of my bewilderment that marriage is something I knew NOTHING about.

Scripture says,

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32)

What I was witnessing was the combination of 2 people living as one flesh. Surely this was not the first time I’d been around a married couple, but marriage hits different when you know someone before and then you are suddenly privy to a front row seat to their transformation. I don’t mean to be all cerebral but the becoming of one flesh is a REAL thing. Daryl and I are ONE and every day I see and feel that oneness more and more.

If I never needed routines before, I surely need them now. I’m not sure if this was immediate for anyone else but my wife instincts kicked in before I got married. Daryl and I built a strong friendship and romantic relationship by keeping things between us early on. Neither of us had the millennial urge to blast our relationship on social media (a BIG mistake I’ve made in the past), thus giving us a chance to get to know one another organically without the influence of on lookers. I believe this played a BIG factor in building our trust in one another (something I needed desperately). As the trust grew God blessed us to take on the responsibility of leading a ministry earlier this year. Since then, the work of the Lord has been nonstop.

Two interesting things our counselor (my dad) shared with us in our sessions is that

1. God will NOT fix our marriage. He will however give us the tools to fix it, and He will work on us as individuals.
2. Marriage is your FIRST ministry. The effectiveness of your church/ministry depends on how solid your marriage is.

Although I have not yet completely nailed down my routines (gimmie a break I’m only a month in), I see VERY clearly how important boundaries and routines are for marriage whether you’re leading a ministry or not. Life has a funny way of twisting and turning you all around, and if you do not have solid routines and boundaries for alone time, meal prep, study time etc. you will find yourself flipped and turned upside down.

We are heirs TOGETHER. Another highlight of our counseling sessions was learning that you and your spouse are heirs together in the grace of life.

1 Peter 3:7 says,

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

This means that when my husband wins, I win. Therefore, my desire and intentions as his wife are to work WITH him as an ally and not an enemy (and vice versa). Keeping this in mind has brought so much more perspective when we disagree or when we are approached with “areas of opportunity” as we like to call them.

I can admit that in the past a highlight for getting married for me was having someone by my side and never feeling alone again. Please don’t get me wrong, marriage does give you a life-long partner but that is not to say that you won’t face some individual issues. God has however, placed someone in your life who will not simply remove your loneliness but someone that is invested in you and is constantly working WITH you to get to greatness. That scripture has filled me so deeply and keeps me focused on The Wright Mission on this Earth. We are one, working together, fighting together and winning TOGETHER.

Marriage is a journey that I am so honored to be on. I am committed to learning and growing every day to be the best wife that I can possibly be, and I cannot wait to see what all the Lord has in store for Daryl and me.

What were/are some thoughts on marriage? Feel free to share in the comments below.

If you need premarital counseling and you’d like to work with our counselor Bishop Steve Walters, feel free to email me at hi@lovejeniselavonne.com and I will share how you can connect with him. Working with him will be one of the best decisions you’ve made for your marriage (and I’m not saying this because he’s my dad. He is a true man of God that is an advocate for marriage).

Until next time.

Love, Jenise La Vonne

P.S. Below are few professional shots from our wedding. All photography by Sequoyah Daniel.

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