What Stepping Away From Traditional Church Taught Me About God | To the Church

This may surprise you, but I haven’t been an active member of a church for probably close to a decade.

To make a long story short, my home church went through a rough transition during the demise and ultimate death of our pastor. Like many black churches, a plan of succession was never created and implemented which resulted in the breakdown of what once was a thriving church.

I moved back to New York from Atlanta when I was 15. The thread of my home church had already begun to unravel and by the time I arrived the dysfunction was already at a critical point. I came from a stable church structure from ages 4 to about 15 while living in Atlanta which made this level of dysfunction foreign and extremely uncomfortable. For the next 5 years I endured, like most hoping, waiting and praying for a change, for consistency, for structure, for growth. At some point I no longer possessed the capacity to wait while I watched individuals who had the ability to bring our church some level of normalcy, do nothing.

I had enough.

I limited my attendance to Sunday School and prayer services (Monday evening and Friday all night). I could no longer take the abuse of neglect, but I didn’t quite know where to go or what to do. So, I did what I could with what I had until I needed more.

I eventually began fellowshipping with my husband’s church off and on until God moved us into servant leadership where we are now. Those years outside of active membership to one specific church brought me to some of my deepest lows and highest highs spiritually. Fortunately, my years in Georgia served as a type of boarding school, unknowingly equipping me for what was to come.

Living in Georgia left us hundreds of miles away from family, friends, our home church and community. It forced us to learn a whole new way of life. One of the biggest changes we experienced was with church life and community. There was something very repellent about the church communities in Georgia that forged a fire within my father to begin his own church to secure the spiritual lives of his children.

Georgia is where I began to learn about God intimately.

Our church started in the living room of our townhouse and some years later grew into a building of our own. My father’s grassroots method to building a church exposed me to an intimacy in God needed during my decade long pilgrimage, and ultimately to the truth of what it means to walk with Jesus.

During this journey I have learned more about God than I think I could ever have if I was planted in one church. To clarify, I am by no means advocating for people to leave their churches. Church is necessary as it is the facilitator of our relationship with Christ. It is the main place of assembly for like minded believers to affirm and practice their beliefs in unity. It is not however the only means by which we can (or should) survive and thrive as believers.

Here are a few things I learned about myself, church and most importantly God when I stepped away from traditional church.

God REQUIRES service no matter what!

All throughout my pilgrimage I NEVER stopped serving in ministry. I know this may seem a little strange considering I didn’t have a stable church home, but I quickly realized that God was not concerned about that. I learned that the assignment that He places on our lives is NOT contingent on a building or congregational support. I am reminded of the disciples when they were sent out on their first ministry assignments to preach the gospel and heal the sick (Luke 9:1-10). There was no specific church they were sent to and there was no congregation following them. They only had with them the assignment of preaching the Word and healing the sick.

Many people confuse assignments for purpose. This is significant because believers often go on a journey of purpose chasing when Ecclesiastes 12:13 outlines the purpose for all believers stating,

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

KJV

Scripture reveals that our purpose as believers is to fear God and to obey Him by keeping His commandments. The means by which we do this is called our assignment. (I’ll be doing another post on this topic soon.)

I learned that God was less concerned about me being in a building than He was about me still being obedient to His call. He revealed to me that my assignment is to proclaim holiness as God’s standard among the body of Christ. Being away from a steady church home forced me to be creative with how I executed this assignment.  Now that I am back in a church home, the skills and lessons I learned enable me to teach and now be the example in servant leadership.

He is consistent in inconsistency. God can be trusted.

I cannot begin to tell you how scary it is being outside of (what I thought was) the ark of safety (the church).  People truly underestimate the stability and comfortability being a member of a church brings. For many, church is a second home. For me church was a place I experienced a lot of firsts. During my time away the absence of a steady church home brought me a lot of anxiety for lack of community and honestly identity. Can you imagine going overseas to sing with a choir where all its members came from churches that were not only progressive but popular. The leverage that a church gives has the ability to propel you in business, ministry, social hierarchy and community notoriety. I experienced countless days of not knowing whether I was coming or going. I had to work harder to prove my worth because there was no one around to give their cosign.

Visiting and fellowshipping with other churches became a revolving door of frustration and a growing appetite to belong. However, regardless of what seemed to be inevitable change GOD REMAINED THE SAME.

God did not move because of my anxiety but rather He caused me to slow down to see His salvation (Exodus 14:13). He did not deviate from His Word but instead He drew me in to deeper understanding. God does not change because circumstances do. He is the same today, yesterday and forevermore and His faithfulness can be depended upon (Hebrews 13:8). Although I may not have had what I felt I needed I never went without what was necessary to continue to grow in God.

He wants us to know His Word. The Word of God MUST BE our foundation for truth.

It is without question that my pilgrimage unfolded God’s Word to me like never before. I needed to know who really was this God that I committed my life to and who has led me into a wilderness of sorts outside of my normal church life?

Since leaving my church home I figured that there must be something written in this book to guide me to my next church but instead I found that this book was written to guide me closer to Christ. As I have read, studied and continue to study scripture I see clearly that the Word of God is a manual to living on earth as believers, ambassadors and followers of Christ.

Imagine being shipped to a remote country where you know no one and have nothing but a book to help you not only survive but thrive in this foreign land. That book would become the foundation by which you live your life, your guide for survival and the cheat code to getting the upper hand on your surroundings. For believers the Bible is that book.

My time away from church caused me to know God’s Word intimately without the cushion of Sunday School teachers or bible studies prepared on my behalf. In order to survive I needed to not only know the Word of God but to believe the Word of God, keeping it as the divine connector to me and my Savior. What I learned is that while I was able to rely on the testimonies and experiences of others in church, I could continue to put off studying and knowing the Word of God for myself. Additionally, as I have once again entered the church, I have observed many who do not truly know or understand scripture, giving way again for me to teach and lead by example in servant leadership.

Don’t forsake assembling

Not having a church to call home was not an excuse to not fellowship. As frustrating as it sometimes got to continue, it was necessary to hear the testimonies of other believers and for hearing the Word from those called to deliver it.

I am aware that there are many that subscribe to the notion that attending church is not necessary to develop or maintain a relationship with God. And while I do not believe going to church every week or every time the doors are open is necessary, I do affirm that attending church and being involved in a church community is a powerful weapon in our arsenal of tools to maintaining our relationship with God and resisting the enemy.

During my pilgrimage God did not excuse me from assembling myself with the saints (Hebrews 10:25). In fact, I was called to sing and minister the most during that time. I quickly got frustrated with fellowshipping as our modern ideas about church revealed to me a bigger focus on the social aspect rather than the biblical focus on strengthening and encouraging one another in Christ. God was well aware of the disappointment and pain I endured but still required me to fellowship with His people.

My time away from traditional church conclusively revealed the proper position church plays in the life of a believer. For the past several years, the (black) church has seen many areas of opportunity with the influx of young people leaving and/or creating a version of church more suitable to their needs [ READ MY POST: 5 THINGS BELIEVERS SHOULD LEAVE IN 2019]. I am compelled to ask the question of why do we continue to persist with programs, services, conferences and conventions under the guise of winning souls for the kingdom when in reality people are left knowing less about God and His Word and more about the social constructs of church life.

I wholeheartedly believe in the institution of church and purpose it plays in the life of a believer. I am not an advocate for skipping out on church nor would I suggest anyone take any extended amount of time away from church. I do however believe that my experience was God ordained to equip me for such a time as this.

I pray that as a body we can come together to begin making the necessary adjustments to better equip and encourage believers to intimately know God within our services and programs.

Has God ever called you into unfamiliar territory? What did you learn from that experience?